Friday, November 25, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
So Luke started asking whether I had life insurance, what is was for, etc. I told him that I did, and that it would pay for the house, car, college for him and his sister, etc. And that Mom wouldn't have to worry about anything. After pondering that for a moment, he said, in all innocence, "I bet if you died we could afford to get expanded cable."
Is that a classic male response, or what?
Friday, November 11, 2005
J.J. is on the rampage again. Why does this guy continue to get major press coverage? If you are ever unsure about any given issue, just find out where Jesse stands, then go the other way.
I did get to meet him once. My friend Dave Willis and I heard him speak at the Hampton Coliseum. Somehow we ended up in the "shake & howdy" line.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Killer quote: The church over time drifts from mission to complaint management. The default mode becomes "placate the critic."
Ouch! You said a mouthful John-Boy!
Monday, November 07, 2005
A teacher compiled this list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, "It's truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressure of time and grades."
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Liter: a nest of young puppies.
Magnet: something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: what you give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.
For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Leonard Sweet has a good article in the current issue of Rev. Magazine. I'm not sure that I buy his assertion that preaching as we have known it ("old-school", 20th-century style) is on life-support. But I did appreciate these words:
C.S. Lewis once said that writers should have blood in their veins, not ink. The same is true of the 21st-century preacher. Preachers should preach from the blood in the veins, not from the ink of words on a manuscript. Preaching has become too inky, too watery, and too bloodless. And the Christian preacher should bleed the shed blood of Christ, as preaching is ultimately God's act through the power of the Holy Spirit. A preacher sets a table before the people in which there is laid out the body and blood of Christ in bread and wine and in word and flesh . If, when you're finished preaching, you're not finished, spent, wiped out -- if you haven't died a little -- you haven't really preached. I once heard Howard Edington say that if you're truly preaching, you will shorten your life a little, because every time you preach you die a little.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
The new Third Day CD was released today. These guys rock! I've been listening to them ever since their first release back in '96 (the one with the giant peach reflecting in the window of the old bus). Praise Song is still being sung in worship all over the country, and Consuming Fire still gets to me (and it is awesome when performed live). Still, they've come a long way since then.
The new album is pretty good. My friend Donny Goff told me about the sneak preview he got while attending a Youth Leader's conference. He mentioned the song Communion. Wow!
This is the body
This is the blood
Broken and poured out
For all of us
In this communion
We share in His love
This is the body
This is the blood
I will remember everything, Lord
That you've done for me
I won't take for granted
The sacrifice that set me free
I hunger and thirst for Your love
Come fill me today
We hunger and thirst for Your love
And Your righteousness
We long for Your presence here, Lord
Be with us again
Even though it's a bit "rock-ish" for the older crowd, I've got to figure out how to use this in a worship service sometime.