How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on..let Him turn it on if He wants.
How many Church of Christ folks?
CHANGE?? But we have NEVER done it that way before!
How many Neo-evangelicals?
No one knows. They cannot tell the difference between light and darkness.
How many Pentecostals?
Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness...
How many TV evangelists?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation...
How many Fundamentalists?
It better be a 1611 bulb!
How many Episcopalians?
None, they assume darkness is the nature of the bulb and it would be harmful and disrespectful to violate personality of the bulb.
How many Baptists?
Two, one to change the bulb, the other to preach on tithing in order to pay for the new bulb.
How many Premillennialists?
While knowing where the lightbulbs are, they are persuaded to wait for the official lightbulb changer but no one knows when he will arrive.
How many Arminians?
Since the bulb has free will - it must make the decision.
How many Amillennialists?
Two, one to change the bulb, the other to remind others not to fear the old darkness or trust the new light--both are only symbolic.
How many Emergents?
It doesn't matter as long as we love each other.
How many seeker sensitives?
First we must find out what kind of bulbs the community wants then we will proceed.
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