Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Amazing Agassi

Watching the US Open last night was exciting. It looked like Andre Agassi was going to get spanked in his last appearance of the Open (he has announced that he will be retiring after this tourney). There was a great tiebreak at the end of the second set (which he won). But he seemed to have run out of gas. At that point, it was going on midnight, and I said to Mrs. Soren, "He gonna lose. I'm going to bed." She said, "Never count Andre out." Turns out that he came back and won. Wow.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Here's Your Sign!

These are worthy of Bill Engvall’s Here’s Your Sign comedy routine. They come courtesy of my Uncle Greg.

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want thesun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . .

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, they walk among us. And reproduce!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Friday, August 18, 2006

More About the Island

The bike ride was awesome! We rented some mountain bikes and traveled off the main roads, following trails in the wooded areas. I had no idea how many private homes are on the island (and I had no idea how out-of-shape I am). We discovered a place called The Inn at Stonecliffe. Somehow we stumbled upon one of the golf courses (riding on the cart paths for a little while) and then the airport. We must have ridden 8-10 miles (and yes, our legs expressed their displeasure the next day). It was a lot of fun. (Oh, and now I want a mountain bike!).

That night (back on the mainland) we ate at a place called Audie's. I had elk for the first time. It was really tasty.

I hope it won't be another 20 years before we return to the island.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Anniversary at Mackinaw

Tracy and I are enjoying the celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary at Macinac Island, Michigan. I'm blogging from the business center of the Grand Hotel. This place is awesome! The movie Somewhere in Time was filmed here in 1979 (which happened to be when I first visited the island with my family). We are staying in Macinaw City (yes, either spelling is correct) at a place called the Lamplighter Motel. Going to bike around the island after lunch. More later...

Monday, August 14, 2006

He Might Have a Point There

Yesterday I preached my guts out on the subject of baptism/salvation. On the way home from worship, I was a little bummed out that more people didn't respond to the invitation. My son Luke (11 years old) says, "Dad, you gave them a lot. You can't expect them to just run up front. They have to think about it. It's too important."

I grounded him :-)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Leadership Summit

My staff and I will be attending the local simulcast of the Leadership Summit over the next couple of days. We have done so for the last couple of years. There is usually some good stuff presented. I'm looking forward to hearing Andy Stanley and Jim Collins.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I'm preaching a sermon series this month based on questions that the congregation asked (they wrote topics on survey cards over the last several weeks). This week's "I've Always Wanted to Know About..." topic is baptism. People submitted some really good questions about it, like:

"Are we the ONLY ones who are right?"
"What about my friend who believes in God, but isn't baptized?"
"Please explain why we believe in baptism and others believe in faith-only."
"Why do some verses say believe and others say to be baptized?"
"There are people who are much better than me who haven't been baptized. Yet I'm going to heaven and they are not? That doesn't seem fair."
"What must I do to be saved?"

That's a lot to cover in one sermon. I have to be careful not to explain it so thoroughly that I leave everybody utterly confused. Years ago, Clarance Greenleaf taught me the phrase, "There are more terms of pardon than are mentioned in any one verse, but there never can be less." I like that.

But how can I fast-track over 500 years of church history (the Protestant Reformation, Restoration Movement, etc.) and explain that some ran so far from Rome that they blew by Jerusalem? Maybe I'll just stick with the Bible :-)

Monday, August 07, 2006

Northmen Sing!

Enjoyed The Northmen last week. But boy was it HOT! I'm a Michigan boy and I don't remember it ever being so hot, especially so far north. It was in the high 90's for a couple of days. When we arrived at the camp, we couldn't find the guys from our church. They were all down at the creek, sitting in their lawn chairs (in the creek), trying to cool off. Tuesday night, a fierce storm came through and cooled things off (a little).I enjoyed hearing Mark Scott preach. He did a great job (as usual). Also enjoyed fellowship with Tony Sullivan, David Jones, and a lot of GLCC alums.

Next year, the speakers will be preaching expository messages from the Parables of Jesus.