Thursday, February 14, 2008

What NOT to Get Her for Valentine's Day

What NOT to give her for Valentines Day:

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Anything that even remotely implies that she is not physically perfect: gym memberships, Botox, diet plan subscriptions, self help books and the like.

3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Jim Carrey, or Angelina Jolie.

4. Any clothing item with the words "push-up" or "slim-down" on the label.

5. Appliances. Every man has made this mistake. Just because she says, "I need a new vacuum" does not mean you should buy her a vacuum.

6. Homemade coupons. Whether they're for dish duty, garbage duty, dinner, or something else, she's not likely to be impressed. Did your high school girlfriend even use hers?

7. Any food item with the words "diet", "light", or "high fiber" on the label.

8. Any gift you once bought for an ex-girlfriend. She will find out--and punish you.

9. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way home, even if you didn't.

10. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Mike
uncle Dave here.
I forgot valentines day.Kerri was not very happy with me. She told me that since I forgot,that tomorrow morning she wanted something in the driveway that would go 0-200 in 6 seconds.
Sure enough she awoke to find a package in the driveway.She opened it and found exactly what she asked for.
A new bathroom scale.
and yes the shed does get cold at night.