Virginia

We're spending a few days in our old stomping grounds of Virginia. We're visiting friends and family and I'm perfoming a wedding for a couple of friends who are getting married just after midnight on New Years Eve. I'm preaching on Sunday at the church I served for twelve years. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all the readers of Soren's Blog. I know that your numbers are few, but I'm glad that you humor me by visiting my blog once in a while. Good tidings I send to you and your kin, good tidings for Christmas and a happy new year!

Christmas Shopping

I thought I might get an early start on my Christmas shopping, so I will head out into the fray this evening. Will give a report tomorrow.

As Dave Barry once observed, "We find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."

24

Fox has been running previews for the upcoming season of 24.

It looks intense (as one would expect).

Captain Obvious

Today I preached about the Nativity Story: The Cast. I'm doing a series this month based on the biblical texts surrounding the birth of Christ.

After the service one of the guys told me that when I said, "Most Bible scholars believe that Joseph died at some point", his son leaned over and remarked, "Um, I don't think it takes a Bible scholar to figure that one out." Ha!

Tonight is the second performance of our dessert theatre. We attended on Friday night and it was fantastic. Everything was done first-class. The drama, the music, and the dessert -- yummy! I'm here tonight welcoming people and doing a wrap-up at the end. As I was doing the "Welcome to Cedar Creek" bit, I stepped forward and sort of stumbled off the tiny temporary stage (thankfully it's only about 10 inches off the ground). "Welcome to Cedar Creeeeeeeeeek" (regaining composure like I meant to do that). Some things never change :-)

Botox Boy -- the Board Game

My friend John Dobbs had this little gem on his blog. Unbelievable.

And while you’re buying gifts and you’re looking for that one unique present that’s going to set you apart, please pass up the Your Best Life Now - The Game. Lest you think this is some kind of joke or urban legend, check out snopes.com all you want, it’s real! It is available at Target.com. I know some of you will think you’ll make a good impression with this new offering, but I promise you will never be invited to that party again. Unless you’re doing gag gifts. What happens if you lose? You get a crummy life? The worst thing that could happen is the astounded recipient might break out the game and force you to play it. I’m sorry if you are a Joel Osteen fan and are offended by this little humor …. but … you gotta admit this is Christian marketing gone nuts.

Amen Brother!

Bob and Doug McKenzie

Today I heard Bob and Doug McKenzie's version of The 12 Days of Christmas. It was a blast from the past, reminding me of my high school days. And yes, I actually owned this album.

Take off, eh?

12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Jingle Bell antlers for everyone to see.

Awful Christmas Songs

This time of year, I usually tune my radio to one of the stations playing Christmas music 24/7 (when I'm not listening to ESPNradio or right-wing talk radio). I know that the stations want to have a variety, but some of the songs drive me crazy. (I know I blogged about some of these last year, but I've added a few more.) And have you noticed how the radio stations play them constantly?

Jingle Bells Boogie by Jingle Dogs
Whoever thought it would be amusing to make a recording of dogs barking to the tune of "Jingle Bells" must have been drinking too much spiked egg nog.

Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano
It’s not that this song is so especially horrible, but it gets stuck in my head and I can’t get it out.

Do They Know It's Christmas? by Band Aid
No there won't be snow in Africa, Bob. It's AFRICA! And do we need to be reminded of the 1984 famine, every year?

Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
Ewwww!

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney
Shadduppppp!

I Like the Sleigh Ride (I don't know who wrote or performs this, but it must be McCartney inspired because it just repeats the same five words over & over)

So This is Christmas (War is Over) by John Lennon
Ugh. No wonder someone shot you.

Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg
I always hear this song played on the Christmas music station. Doesn’t anybody realize that it’s not really a Christmas song? And did this guy ever do a song that didn't want to make you kill yourself?

The Christmas Shoes by NewSong
I agree with the guy who wrote this: "What a heavy-handed, depressing piece of shlock this is. If you haven’t heard it, it’s a song about a boy who’s scraping together money to buy a pretty pair of shoes for his mom, who’s dying. He wants to buy them because “I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight.” Oy. The only way to make the song even remotely tolerable is to imagine the kid is a grifter, his mom is waiting in the car, and they’ve been pulling this scam at every store in town, with plans to return the shoes for cash two days after Christmas."

Santa Claus is Coming to Town by Bruce Springsteen
I liked this version when it first came out in the 80's, but it has been played to death.

This guy's rant is pretty good too (be sure to scroll down to see the comments/opinions)

What song gets your vote as the most awful Christmas song ever?

Kjergaard Open House

Yesterday we had our annual Open House for our church family and friends. We have been doing this for about 18 years. And when I say "we", I really mean Tracy. She outdoes herself each year. My job is to set up table and chairs and stay out of her way as she cooks, bakes, decorates, etc. It's our gift to the congregation. They seem to appreciate it. About 70 showed up yesterday (not all at once!). It's a tradition that we look forward to each year. And I look forward to all the goodies that are left over. Yummy!

Merry Ramahanukkwanzzmas!

Maybe it’s just me. And I don’t want you to think I’m nuts (or un-American, or quasi-Christian, or liberal), but if I get one more email that bemoans the fact that some retailers are instructing their employees to say, “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”, I’m going to scream. Is this really something worthy of getting all up in arms about? Aren’t there better ways to spend our time, energy, and resources, rather than getting upset about what some minimum-wage-earning-pimply-faced-checkout-girl says to us as we leave Best Buy?

I’m a HUGE fan of Christmas and I am a committed follower of Jesus Christ. But here are a few facts:

1. Christmas, as a holiday, was never celebrated or mentioned in Scripture.
2. The phrase “Happy Holidays” can be interpreted as including Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years (as well as the multicultural holidays).
3. Retailers are in business to make money. They are not making religious/political statements. In their minds, a Christian’s money is just as good as a Jew’s money which spends just as well as a Muslim’s money, which is as profitable as an Atheist’s money.
4. The average person, when he hears the phrase, “Merry Christmas”, does not think, “Wow! Isn’t it awesome that Wal-Mart reminded me to remember Jesus?”
5. It is the job of THE CHURCH to exalt, promote, preach, and share the name of Christ.

So when people get their shorts in a wad about this issue, they are once again making Christians look like a bunch of idiotic, reactionary, clueless dipsticks. Just shut up already!

The Nativity Story

On Friday, my family and I went to see the new movie The Nativity Story. I know that many of you have included that as part of your holiday plans.

I thought the filmmakers did a great job depicting the reality of what it must have been like for Mary & Joseph living in that time. Much of the dialogue was taken directly from the biblical texts. Sure, there were a few “Hollywood edits” (for example, the wise men showing up at the stable). I recommend it. Maybe not for very young children. It is not your typical sterile, magical, Disney-esque version of Jesus’ birth. But it is a great reminder of how it all started.

First Snow

Well, after all of the media hype ("Run for your lives! Snooooooowwwww!"), not much happened here last night. We got LOTS of rain, but it was too warm for snow. Now we are getting gusty winds and a few flurries.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Do You Smell Something Burning?

I have temporary relinquished my "bonehead-of-the-week" title to my sister. My brother-in-law called me on Sunday afternoon to tell me that my sister caught someone's hair on fire at church that morning. Apparently they all had candles for some kind of "hanging of the greens" ceremony. They were all standing and when they were told to be seated, the lady in front of her sat down quickly and her ponytail went right into my sister's candle. Oh to have that on videotape! So my sister starts smacking the ignited hair, and the lady turns around and says, "Is my hair on fire?" To which my sister responds, "Not anymore!"

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

Signs You're Overdoing Thanksgiving

From Mikey's Funnies

SIGNS YOU'RE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING
~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
~ You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of your chair.
~ The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.
~ Your "Old Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.
~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
~ You have five TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.
~ That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
~ Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed.
~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
~ You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.
~ It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.

today'sTHOT============================
Woman to stock boy: "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

"No ma'am, they're dead"
=======================================

Stupid Church Signs

Faithful readers of this blog know that stupid church signs are a pet peeve of mine.
Lately I've been driving past a local church that has this gem on its sign:
Salvation guaranteed or your sins back.
For real. Do they really expect to appeal to the community with that lame message?
If you hate stupid church signs, you'll enjoy this website.

Big Weekend

We had a great "Missions Extravaganza" weekend at Cedar Creek. All 30 missions that we support were represented. We had several speakers & workshops on Saturday, with worship & preaching that evening. The morning assembly on Sunday began with a flag ceremony (a junior high kid carrying a nation's flag, with the missionaries serving in that country following him). Seeing all of them up front was quite a sight. Worship was wonderful and our guest preacher (Curt Nordhielm) did an outstanding job. After services, we all shared in a lunch and fellowship time together.