Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Hey, Girlie Man!

The book that my Wednesday morning Discipleship Group is reading now is called King Me. In one of the chapters, Steve Farrar laments what he calls the “feminization of our boys.” He writes, “Godly women can have a wonderful influence on young boys. But he needs a man in his life to show him what masculinity looks like.” The entire book, by the way, is about how fathers need to proactively and aggressively take the lead in mentoring, training, and discipling their sons to be men of God.

During the time I was thinking through the chapter, I happened to see another book in a Christian bookstore entitled, Why Men Hate Going to Church. I wondered if it didn’t contain a similar premise. Why is it that many churches have a disproportionate amount of women in them? Where are the men?

I think Farrar may be on to something. He writes, “Our sons need to be around masculine preaching and worship. When was the last time you heard a sermon on the importance of being a warrior for righteousness, or being aggressive in telling the truth regardless of the cost? More often the traits we hear lifted up are the more feminine traits: tenderness, compassion, sensitivity, and gentleness.” Wow!

He also talks about “feminized worship.” This is where the guy leading worship is soft-spoken, quiet and passive. And the songs talk about Jesus being “beautiful” or “lovely.’ Keith Drury calls these, “Jesus-is-my-girlfriend” songs. Farrar says, “Am I in a church or a spa? At a deal like that, you don’t bring your Bible, you bring your moisturizer.”

He talks about the pictures of Jesus. You know the ones – the soft, European-looking Jesus with the long, flowing hair and the manicured nails, and the flawless complexion. What’s up with that? He recalls looking at one of those pictures as a young boy and thinking, “Jesus is a Breck Girl!” John Eldredge dealt with this topic in Wild at Heart. His point was that we’re not going to attract men by lifting up a harmless, fluffy, Mr. Rogersesque, really nice guy as the model of Christianity.

I think these guys are right. A real Christian man is a manly man, and yes, there needs to be a tender, compassionate side to that man, but I don’t need to be a girlie man to be a godly man.


k2 said...

book tag

1. how many books have i owned?

i would have to say maybe 7 at the most. most of the books in my house are owned/bought by my wife, so i don't "own" many books of my own. don't get me wrong, i do like to read, but i read rather slowly. i also like to stick to a few authors. however, i do take suggestions from friends.

2. what was the last book you bought?

it was actually "come thirsty" by max lucado, and "in the grip of grace" by max lucado was free with the purchase of "come thirsty." (i still need to read "come thirsty")

3. what was the last book you read?

"a church that flies" by tim woodruff

4. what are FIVE books that have meant a lot to you?

"the case for Christ" by lee strobel
"in the grip of grace" by max lucado
"hunt for red october" by tom clancy
"distant voices" by c. leonard allen
"romans" by paul
"luke" by dr. luke

these folks are officially "it"

greg morris
mike "soren" kjergaard

k2 said...

great points soren. i remember going to see steve twice that i can remember in ft. worth. one of his statements was centered around sin. this is what he said:

sin will take you further than you want to go.
sin will keep you longer than you want to stay.
sin will cost you more than you want to pay.

sorry that this really doesn't follow your post, but i also remember him saying that we are like links in an anchor chain. the boat will float away if the anchor does not have a chain connecting the anchor to the boat. the links represent us as individuals, and our faith and commitment to each other is useless if we do not pass it down to the young in our families. each person, being a seperate link, make the chain longer, and stronger, or they can make it weaker, but that is another story.

stu weber was also at one of the conferences where i saw steve, and he had written a book called "tender warrior" and stu mentioned that you need to meek. now don't get all worked up says, because meekness is not weakness it is power under control. that is the way is see Jesus. i don't see Jesus as a "breck girl" (boy i haven't heard that term in awhile). i see him like bruce marchiano, http://www.brucemarchiano.com, that played Jesus in the matthew series back in the '90s.

well, i'm rambling. i'll go now. great post, soren!

Soren said...

1. how many books have i owned?

2. what was the last book you bought?

King Me by Steve Farrar

3. what was the last book you read?

"Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller

4. what are FIVE books that have meant a lot to you?

The Bible (duh!)
The Purpose Drive Church (Rick Warren)
Wild at Heart (John Eldredge)
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (John Maxwell)
God Came Near (Max Lucado)