Improving Church Attendance in 2006

Okay, I've heard your whining and complaining about not having your Sorensblog fix. So I'll give you something I got from someone else.

TOP TEN WAYS TO IMPROVE CHURCH ATTENDANCE IN 2006
by Dave Tippett
10. Watch Aslan the Lion take down a gazelle, live on the platform
9. More "open mic" opportunities during worship service
8. One of those fake shark fins in baptismal
7. Floating sermon points dance in front of your eyes via cool 3-D PowerPoint slides
6. Spiritual tech support guys will tell you not to just "re-boot your soul" every time you call
5. Sermon series: "Thomas Kincaid; the soft lighting Disciple"
4. Wi-Fi access for wireless hearing aides
3. Tazer the Sleeping Sound Booth Guy Day
2. Will start accepting coupons from non-tithing churches
1. Ability to TiVo the sermon
Copyright 2005 Dave Tippett (djtippHA@yahoo.com). Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.