I thought this was funny (courtesy of Bryan Allain's blog):
10. He refuses to speak until he’s patted you down for hidden weapons or wiretaps.
9. Tough to keep his attention when he’s constantly downloading building schematics on his phone.
8. He can’t really sympathize with your “tough week at home with the kids” because he almost died 6 times last week, and actually did die once but was revived by a stray power line that landed in his mouth.
7. He’s got television cameras following him everywhere. And insane terrorists. And the government. And an unlucky daughter.
6. He cancels half of your meetings with text messages like “Sorry cant make mtg. Undercover in Iraqi Prison making a shiv out of stale bread. Breakfast Monday?”
5. He’s always got the scent of danger and B.O. going, and it kind of makes you throw up in your mouth a little if you get too close.
4. Impossible for him to get through a meeting without jamming a needle full of truth serum into the base of your neck, which kind of hurts.
3. Too much yelling.
2. Tough to know how to respond to, “How I’m doing with God? HOW AM I DOING WITH GOD??? I KILLED 18 PEOPLE LAST NIGHT WHO WERE TRYING TO SMUGGLE A DIRTY BOMB INTO MIAMI, AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY FATHER! THAT’S HOW I’M DOING WITH GOD!”
and finally, the #1 reason you do not want Jack Bauer as your accountability partner…
1. When he finds out you’re lying to him…and he will…you’re dead.