Valentine's Day Tips

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. Take it from Ol' Uncle Soren -- you DON'T want to blow it on February 14! Check out these tips, courtesy of Mikey's Funnies.

Here's a list of what NOT to give her for Valentines Day:

• A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the factyou ate all the caramel ones.
• Any food item with the words "diet","light", or "high fiber" on the label.
• Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.
• Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
• Any clothing item with the words"push-up" or "slim-down" on the label.
• Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
• A gift certificate.
• Cash.
• Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria's Secret model.
• Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.
• An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"