Way To Go Lefty!

Congrats to Phil Mickelson on winning his second Masters in three years. Being a lefty myself, I enjoy watching him (although I couldn't play like him in a million years). I did feel bad for Fred Couples blowing those putts and letting a chance to give Phil a run for his money slip away.

I like Phil. However, being the cynic that I am, I have to wonder if a goober like Phil would have ended up with such an attractive wife (and thus, some really cute kids) if he were not a multi-millionaire golf superstar.

Not Only Will You CBS, You Might Hear Some Too

Katie Couric announced that she will become the anchor of the CBS Evening News. Our friends at the Media Research Center have been kind enough to compile a sampling of Katie's unbiased quality reporting.

We can all rest assured that Dan Rather's legacy will continue.

Courage.

I'm Shocked!

From the Mercury News

And they thought it would last ... a few months longer, at least.
If those lovebirds Eminem and Kim Mathers can't keep it together, what hope do the rest of us have? In what has to be the most surprising relationship news since Brangelina confessed they weren't just friends, the rapper filed for divorce Wednesday -- three months after he and Kim remarried.

Eminem's publicist Dennis Dennehy confirmed that Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Bruce Mathers III, filed the papers Wednesday.

The Grammy- and Oscar-winning rapper and Kim Mathers remarried Jan. 14, a month after the couple announced they were getting back together. Their first marriage ended after two-plus years in October 2001 in an ugly legal fight that included a custody battle over their daughter, Hailie.

Then he wrote some songs about her being a bad mother, stuffing her body in a trunk ... you know, typical break-up stuff. Then he changed his mind. Now he's changed his mind again.
Eminem, 33, and his high school sweetheart, Kim, 30, reconciled in late 2004, and he announced in December 2005 they were back together.

Last August, it was announced that Eminem had entered a hospital to undergo treatment for sleep medication dependency. A month earlier, he denied reports that he was preparing to retire from recording. Come on, Eminem. We're rooting for you to get back to your old obnoxious, mean, unusually-angry-for-a-famous-millionaire self.

American Idol

Good-bye Mandisa! Too bad -- that girl could sing. Props for blessing everybody in the name of Jesus. I just love to see the stunned looks on the faces of people like Ryan Seacrest when people drop the J-bomb on live television.

And what's with Kenny Rogers? Good thing the judges weren't allowed to comment on him. And he should get his money back from his plastic surgeon. Unless he was actually going for the Dennis Hopper look.

Next week they sing the music of Queen. Wouldn't it be funny if the person who gets voted off is the one who does Another One Bites the Dust?

Beware: If You Try To Repress The Crazy Clown-Hair Lady, She'll Hit You With Her Cell Phone And Call You A Racist!

I first heard about this incident on Sean Hannity's radio show, but I got the following commentary off another blog.

"This whole incident was instigated by the inappropriate touching and stopping of me, a female black congresswoman," Mrs. McKinney said during a press conference last week at Howard University. "I deeply regret that this incident occurred, and I am certain that after a full review of the facts, I will be exonerated." No apology, no admission of wrongdoing, no praise for the police officers that protect her. Nice!

You Atlanta people have elected quite a class act! Does she represent all of you or just the black community that is, even when committing a crime, being racially profiled and abused by The Man? And, it seems to me the whole incident was caused by, what police saw as, a person trying to evade a security checkpoint then refusing to stop when commanded to do so. Does the law not apply to her because she is, “a female black congresswoman,"?

And it has nothing to do with color. I’m guessing (though could be wrong) that the cop was white. Had the story been the opposite: white Congresswoman hits black cop, the media and the NAACP would be equating her to Hitler himself.

At the end of the day, she hit a cop. It isn’t profiling if she is breaking the law (and, as the article says, she wasn’t wearing her, “I’m a Congressman” lapel pin – and she had that hairdo; how could she possibly not be a crazed idiot trying to evade security?

Something About This Story Made Me Smile

A couple of weeks ago, in Toledo, Ohio, an abducted 14-year-old girl, finds hammer under car seat and vigorously introduces man's groin to the word NO!

(not girl from story. Just some girl with a picture of her holding a hammer.)

A 14-year-old girl told Toledo police she was abducted Tuesday by a man with a gun but got away with help from a hammer. Police said the quick-thinking teen found it in the man's car and used it to hit him in the groin. According to police, the man forced the girl into his car while she was walking to her school bus stop and said he wanted sex. So, she told him she had dropped her ring in the car and went searching for it. That's when she felt the hammer under her seat. Police said the girl told them she remembered a lesson from school to always search for a weapon in that kind of situation. She was not hurt and ran to her grandmother's house. The suspect is still being sought.

Interesting Numbers

I got an email that pointed out that on Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again

But then I got another email that pointed out that back in the summer of 1990, the San Diego Padres started one of their afternoon games four seconds early. Their typical 12:35 p.m. start time was pushed back to 12:34:56 on 7-8-90.

And over the next several years, we will have:
02:03:04 05 - 06 - 07
03:04:05 06 - 07 - 08
04:05:06 07 - 08 - 09
05:06:07 08 - 09 - 10
06:07:08 09 - 10 - 11
07:08:09 10 - 11 - 12
08:09:10 11 - 12 - 13
09:10:11 12 - 13 - 14

In addition, in 2009, we will also have a 12:34:56 7/8/9

And all of those will occur twice on each date . . . unless you're in the military. ;)

Opening Day!

The Cubs are tied for first!

Baptism

I never cease to be amazed at the power of the word of God. I preached about the Great Commission today. I mentioned that Jesus said that baptism is part of the discipling process ("...baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit"). After services, a young man approached me and said, "I want to be baptized." He had never been to Cedar Creek before, but came to the conclusion that this is what he was supposed to do. If we will simply preach what the Bible says, without apology, there are still those who are willing to obey. Yay God!

A Blonde Takes Geometry

Final Four Weekend

Should be some good games to watch. I would love to see George Mason win it all.

Blaming the Dog

I don't know what is happening with our dog, but she has been letting some noxious woofers lately. Mrs. Soren and I will be watching t.v. and, out of nowhere, the green cloud of gagging gas will waft over us. Ay Caramba! What has that dog been eating?

But I do take offense when the Mrs. looks at me and says, "Was that you?"

Come on! Mine have never smelled like a half digested, toxic woodchuck has been slow-cooking in my intestines for a month. Good grief!

Report from the Summit

The Preaching Summit was great. I was challenged, encouraged, and motivated to become a better preacher. The speakers from the acapella branch of the brotherhood were especially good (David Fleer and Chris Seidman). And Dr. Wayne Shaw gave some sage wisdom from a seasoned veteran. The fellowship was good too.

The session on using humor was the most UNfunny of all the speeches. That in itself became humorous. The guy droned on & on; people were leaving in droves. He actually said, at one point, "This is even funnier when you read it in the original Hebrew." Ray Merritt and I chuckled about that session all the way home. I could imagine Dr. Shaw saying to his colleague, "Son, I've heard some duds in my day..."

Preaching Summit

I'm going to the National Preaching Summit today. Some of my friends started this event 11 years ago. It's all about training men to become better preachers. Last year, the leadership reigns were turned over to College Press. I'm not familiar with too many of the names in this year's line-up (several of them are from the acapella side of the brotherhood), but I'm sure the sessions will be excellent. An extra bonus is that I get to go with my father-in-law, Ray Merritt. It's always fun to spend time with him.

A Wrong Turn at Albuquerque

I was sick this weekend. Some sort of cold/flu/fever thing. So I pretty much vegged out on the couch and OD'd on College Basketball. But Saturday morning I came downstairs and my son was watching cartoons. He was watching something on WB called Loonatics Unleashed. I wasn't really paying that much attention, but then I realized that the characters looked familiar. It was Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tazmanian Devil, Wile E. Coyote, and Road Runner. I said to my wife, "What have they done to these guys?" She said, "This is what it is now. They are some sort of superheroes." What the?! They have ruined the Looney Tunes guys. Another sign of the end times, I guess.

Bananas About Bananas

Bananas are just another proof that there is a God. Is there a more perfect fruit? Just peel and eat. Tasty and a great source of potassium.

Think of what bananas have given us:
The Banana Split
Banana Pudding
Banana Nut Bread
Banana and Peanut Butter Sandwiches
Banana Shakes
The Plain Banana

You gotta love bananas.

Fatherly Advice

Yesterday I preached about parenting. I shared this piece I got from Best Life magazine. It was in an article about reducing stress in man’s life. While not exactly known for deep, spiritual insight, I thought they got it right this time.

Dads, listen up, there are a few good tips here.

Stop explaining: If your kids ask you about the interaction between electromagnetism and gravity, by all means take a whack at teaching them physics. But do not, under any circumstances, explain to a 4-year-old why it’s important that he stop dancing on the dining room table. If he asks, just grab him by the arm in a way that will help him understand. Few things are more stressful than trying to persuade somebody who’s three feet tall that you know better than he does. You have authority because you are his father, not because you have more compelling debating points. Taking charge is much less stressful not only for you but for your kids too. They actually like having a gravitational center around which to find an orbit.

Pick the Cereal! Don’t ask your kids which of the 97 cereals – or any other consumer item they want. Buy a cereal. Feed it to them. If they don’t eat it, buy a different one, and so on until you get one they’ll eat. If you allow kids into every purchasing decision, you will slowly go insane.

Don’t make discipline an either-or choice: Lots of parents make the whole deal more stressful than it has to be by making good behavior a choice for kids. As in, “If you don’t clean up your room, we’re not going to the movies.” Then the child has to do a mental cost-benefit analysis, weighing the work of room cleaning versus the fun of seeing Chicken Little. Wrong. There is no “if you don’t.” He’s cleaning up his room. Period. End of sentence. This is not a multiple choice test.

A father (and mother) should love the children with everything they’ve got, but they should not be bringing third graders into the family brain trust.

Busted Bracket

What a weekend! My bracket is really messed up. Iowa and North Carolina losing was a surprise. I had Carolina in my Final Four (and Ohio State, another loser -- I didn't feel good about penciling them in there in the first place). I still have ten teams left in the Sweet Sixteen. At least we got to see some good games over the weekend.

NCAA -- Day One

I didn't do too bad yesterday. I was 12-4 on my picks. My losers were Oklahoma, Nevada, Syracuse, and NC-Wilmington (and that was an exciting OT game).

I wanted to watch the Hoosiers, but the game didn't start until 10:30. I heard that they won on a buzzer-beater.

I'm glad that Mrs. Soren loves basketball!

March Madness

I'm not a very good bracketologist, but my Final Four picks are:
Duke
UCLA
North Carolina
Ohio State

Bjorn's Bjroke

I was reading a story on Christianity Today's website about Swedish tennis great Bjorn Borg will auction off his five Wimbledon trophies and two of his rackets to achieve financial security.
Borg, the only player to win five consecutive Wimbledon titles, will put his trophies on the block at the Bonhams auction house in London on June 21. Kinda sad.

Mawwiage!

Our church hosted a Marriage Retreat this weekend. It was excellent. Kurt & Kristen Sauder from Southeast Christian Church were our guests. There were about 20 couples from Cedar Creek in atendance (from newlyweds to those who have been married nearly 40 years). Most of the stuff was pretty basic, but that's the stuff we need to hear again & again.

I preached on the subject today as part of my Extreme Home Makeover series.

Kirby Puckett

I was stunned when I heard that Kirby Puckett passed away. Especially since he was only five years older than me. I used to love to watch that guy play. He only played one way: full out. And he always looked like he was having fun doing it.

More Soda Flavors

How many more new flavors can they come up with?

Academy Awards

Watched the Oscars last night. YAWN! Jon Stewart was so unfunny. Plus, I have not seen most of the movies. And what was with the HUGE bow on Charlize Theron's dress? Don't they have mirrors in Hollywood?. She should punch the person who told her that was a good look. And what about the Ben Stiller "green suit" bit? What a dork. I'm just glad that the gay cowboy flick didn't win best picture. I read somewhere that the March of the Penquins was seen by more people than the five movies in contention for Best Picture. Go figure.

4th & 5th Grade Retreat

Heading up to Lake James Christian Assembly tonight. Expecting about 50-60 4th & 5th graders. The teen "Pulse Band" from Cedar Creek will be playing for worship. I'll be speaking at at Campfire time and serving as "dorm dad" for the night.

Pizza and pop at 9:00pm (please let there be no Mountain Dew!).

The Mole Hunter

I went to the Home & Garden show at the Coliseum today to hear a guy who calls himself The Mole Hunter. The room was packed. Apparently there are a lot of people who want to kill those pesky varmints. I bought the Mole Hunter Combo Pack, complete with six mole traps , a booklet and a DVD (yes, a DVD). Now some might say that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but this year my yard is going to be mole free. DIE YOU BLASTED MOLE!!!!!

Afterwards, I picked up my daughter from school. I told her about the Mole Hunter. She had a look of incredulity on her face and said, "You actually went to hear a guy speak for an hour about killing moles?" Yep, I sure do lead one exciting life.

Feel Good Story of the Week

By now, perhaps you've heard of the unlikely hero from Greece, N.Y., Jason McElwain, an autistic basketball player/team manager who opened people's eyes and ears to reality from the 3-point line.

Last week, the 17-year-old senior scored 20 points in four minutes and was carried off the court in his first and only varsity game.

Check out the video clip here.

Audio A says "Adios"

I guess this news is about a month old, but I just found out today. Audio Adrenaline (a group to whom I have "rocked out" since their first album) is calling it quits because Mark Stuart's vocal chords can't take it anymore (no surprise there -- that guy has a voice that was made for rock & roll). I think I own all but one or two of their albums. They will be missed.

The Sermon on the Amount

I am very pleased with the response to the Take God at His Word series that we just completed. I think I have received more positive comments and encouraging words about this series than any other I have preached at Cedar Creek – a series about stewardship!

God is so good! Here's what He did at Cedar Creek during the month of February:

• We had eight additions to the church family during the month.
• During the first three weeks, our attendance increased each week.
• On the fourth week, we received the largest offering of the year.
• At the conclusion of Sunday’s service, 70 people/families turned in “commitment cards” indicating an increased or renewed commitment to honoring God with their finances.

25 indicated that they are tithing and will continue to give 10% of their income to God’s work.

16 indicated that they have been tithing and they have decided to increase their giving.

9 indicated that they will continue to give beyond the 10% level.

15 indicated that they have made the commitment to begin tithing for the very first time.

5 requested prayer in making this decision.

Is that awesome or what?

Upward Basketball

My son has been playing Upward Basketball. It's a great program, especially for kids who are not the ultra-aggressive "super-jock" type. He's having fun and learning a great game, in a Christ-honoring environment. You can't beat that.

Third Day Rocks

Mrs. Soren and I went to Muncie, IN last night (Ball State University) to hear Third Day and the David Crowder Band. It was awesome. I've heard Third Day three times. They don't disappoint. And Crowder was very high-energy.
The auditorium was fairly small and the acoustics were fantastic. It was a great night of worship.

Preaching

Today I'm going to Great Lakes Christian College, my alma mater. I'll be speaking to the Advanced Homiletics class. The Prof. wants me to talk about my preaching style; how I write sermons; where I get illustrations, etc. I hope I can communicate well.

I've been told that sometimes the chapel speakers come in and talk about all the pressures and pains of ministry. Like the preachers-to-be need to hear that! But I want to tell them that there is nothing as exhilarating in this world as being a spokesman for the Lord God of the Universe! We are commissioned to speak forth the Word of God, partnering with the Holy Spirit to change lives for eternity! How awesome is that? You can't blast me out of the local church. I've been doing this for 20 years and it still lights my jets.

"Hey, God spoke through a jackass once. He's using me. And there's hope for you guys too!"

Race Day

I've tried to get into it, but I just don't understand the appeal (except for the occasional crash). I lived in the south for 12 years, but I guess I didn't get NASCAR in my blood. For the second year in a row, I've tried to watch the Daytona 500. Two hours later... when I woke up, they were still doing the same thing they were doing when I nodded off.

Continued From Yesterday

Women Drivers

So I’m at Wal-Mart getting my wife’s car serviced today. As I was getting ready to pay, the woman at the front of the line was telling the clerk about her car, what she wanted done, etc. One of the workers said, “Can I have your keys?” She said, “They are in the car.” He returned a few minutes later and said, “Do you have another set of keys?” Yep, she had locked them in the car. To make matters worse, her car was blocking the lane for other cars to enter the place. Nice.

The incident reminded of the time when we had car trouble in West Virginia. We had to spend the night in Beckley and wait until the service station opened in the morning. The next day, while we were waiting for our car to get repaired, a mechanic came into the waiting area and said to a women, “Ma’am, the only thing we could find wrong with your car is that it is out of gas.” She said, “I had to spend the night in a hotel last night. I’m missing work. Can’t you break something and then fix it? Because my husband will kill me if he finds out I was only out of gas.”

47 Days and Counting!

Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training today. Just 47 days until Opening Day. Could this be the year for my Cubs?

Tonja Rose

Tonight we're going to NW Ohio to hear an old friend sing. Ward and Tonja Rose, and their son Chuck spent a couple of days with us. We got to know them when we were living in Virginia. They moved to Nashville several years ago to pursue a career in singing and songwriting. Tonja is the real deal. Tonight's performance is at a church. It's a "songwriter's night." Kind of a coffee house type of thing. We're all looking forward to it.

Valentine's Day Tips

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. Take it from Ol' Uncle Soren -- you DON'T want to blow it on February 14! Check out these tips, courtesy of Mikey's Funnies.

Here's a list of what NOT to give her for Valentines Day:

• A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the factyou ate all the caramel ones.
• Any food item with the words "diet","light", or "high fiber" on the label.
• Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.
• Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
• Any clothing item with the words"push-up" or "slim-down" on the label.
• Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
• A gift certificate.
• Cash.
• Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria's Secret model.
• Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.
• An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

That's Gotta Hurt!

LeadershipNext

Just started reading Eddie Gibbs' book LeadershipNext. So far, so good.

This quote really busted my chops:

I confess to a growing disquiet about the time-honored term evangelism. When we refer to the good news of Jesus Christ as an ism, we are in danger of reducing it to an ideology. The heart of the gospel comprises news to be proclaimed and received rather than abstract propositions to be affirmed.

So much of contemporary evangelism has consisted in bringing individuals to a point of decision -- turning to Jesus as the Savior, who secures forgiveness of our sins and assures us of a place in heaven. While the gospel includes these important truths, it embraces so much more. It is as much concerned with how we live our lives before death as with after death.

Take God at His Word

Started a new series today. Based on Dr. Kregg Hood's book Take God at His Word.
We are encouraging all of our members to read a chapter a week. I will preach for four Sundays about stewardship and giving. Some people shy away from this topic, but I have found that people usually appreciate a forthright explanation of biblical giving.

So Long, Grandpa Munster

Al Lewis, Dead at 95.

Why? M C A

So I’m at the YMCA today. And after working out, I headed for the showers. They were unusually crowded (probably 7 or 8 guys in there). So instead of being able to observe the“courtesy empty shower head” rule, I had to take a spot right next to some old dude. Next thing I know, everyone else had cleared out and it’s just me & him. Totally empty shower room, except two guys right next to each other. I felt like I was in the middle of weird Seinfeld episode. And I got out of there in a hurry!

Speaking of the YMCA... Over the years I have observed “Murphy’s Law of the Locker Room.” It is this: No matter which locker you choose, and even if the locker room is nearly empty, as soon as you pick a locker, someone will come in and his stuff will be in the one right next to you. This must happen at least 80% of the time. Or I'll come back to my locker after working out or showering and somebody will be right there. What's up with that?

State of the Union

Nice speech, I guess. I respect President Bush, but every time he speaks of Islam as a "noble faith," it really honks me off. I realize that political correctness will not allow him to call it a "damnable, hellish, misguided faith that will lead to eternity in hell," but as a "Christian" why does he have to kiss up to them?

And did anyone catch the "Democratic Response"? What's up with Governor Kaine's eyebrows?

Hill Street Blues

I just read that the first season of Hill Street Blues is being released on DVD today. Has it really been 25 years since that show first aired? My friend Mark Christian and I used to watch it while working security when we were in college. Good times.

The Emerging Church

I've been reading Dan Kimball's book, The Emerging Church. Even though I was born one year too late to qualify as a "Baby Boomer", my education and upbringing and worldview is decidedly "modern." I'm one of those logical, linear thinkers who believes in absolute truth. So I'm having a hard time getting a handle on the postmodern way of thinking. Yes, I've read McLaren and Len Sweet, but for some reason Kimball's book has been my "wake up call." This world is changing. What a challenge for the church and especially for those of us who proclaim the timeless Gospel of Christ.

My Weekend

We had our annual Men's Retreat at Lake James Christian Assembly. It was very good. The speaker was Don Green, from Lincoln Christian College and Seminary. Don did an excellent job teaching about Shaping the Heart. It was a reminder that I have a long way to go in the areas of spiritual disciplines and becoming like Jesus. He used a lot of Willard/Foster/Nouwen/Ortberg type of stuff. Very challenging. He also preached this morning at the Creek.

Does Fast Food Make You Fat?

Refining Your Style

I just finished reading Dave Stone’s Refining Your Style. It is a wonderful little book for preachers and anyone who communicates regularly. He examines a number of different communication styles, such as: The Creative Storyteller, The Engaging Humorist, The Practical Applicator, The Unorthodox Artist, The Inspiring Orator, The Scholarly Analytic, etc.

He features 13 styles, accompanied by an interview with a person who epitomizes each particular style. The book comes with a CD featuring audio clips of many of the speakers.

Those of you who know me will not be surprised to hear that my style is what he calls The Direct Spokesperson. Stone writes, You Might be a Direct Spokesperson if…
It’s music to your ears when someone says you “tell it like it is.”
The term politically correct isn’t in your vocabulary.
Opposition inspires you rather than threatens you.
You seldom beat around the bush.
On a regular basis your friends sarcastically say to you, “Tell us how you really feel!”

I think he's right.

Sign of the Day