Leadership Summit

My staff and I will be attending the local simulcast of the Leadership Summit over the next couple of days. We have done so for the last couple of years. There is usually some good stuff presented. I'm looking forward to hearing Andy Stanley and Jim Collins.

Baptism

I'm preaching a sermon series this month based on questions that the congregation asked (they wrote topics on survey cards over the last several weeks). This week's "I've Always Wanted to Know About..." topic is baptism. People submitted some really good questions about it, like:

"Are we the ONLY ones who are right?"
"What about my friend who believes in God, but isn't baptized?"
"Please explain why we believe in baptism and others believe in faith-only."
"Why do some verses say believe and others say to be baptized?"
"There are people who are much better than me who haven't been baptized. Yet I'm going to heaven and they are not? That doesn't seem fair."
"What must I do to be saved?"

That's a lot to cover in one sermon. I have to be careful not to explain it so thoroughly that I leave everybody utterly confused. Years ago, Clarance Greenleaf taught me the phrase, "There are more terms of pardon than are mentioned in any one verse, but there never can be less." I like that.

But how can I fast-track over 500 years of church history (the Protestant Reformation, Restoration Movement, etc.) and explain that some ran so far from Rome that they blew by Jerusalem? Maybe I'll just stick with the Bible :-)

Northmen Sing!

Enjoyed The Northmen last week. But boy was it HOT! I'm a Michigan boy and I don't remember it ever being so hot, especially so far north. It was in the high 90's for a couple of days. When we arrived at the camp, we couldn't find the guys from our church. They were all down at the creek, sitting in their lawn chairs (in the creek), trying to cool off. Tuesday night, a fierce storm came through and cooled things off (a little).I enjoyed hearing Mark Scott preach. He did a great job (as usual). Also enjoyed fellowship with Tony Sullivan, David Jones, and a lot of GLCC alums.

Next year, the speakers will be preaching expository messages from the Parables of Jesus.

Campmeeting Time Again

Last week we atended the Hillsboro Family Camp. We have only missed a few times since 1987. It's always fun seeing old friends and hearing great preaching. I preached on Thursday night. I was quite nervous. They have a clock next the pulpit that counts backwards (HFC is known for staying on schedule). So if you isten to the CD, I'm talking very fast (I probably tried to cover too much material).

This week my son and I will join some other guys from our church at The Northmen. This meeting has a much different "flavor." It's all men & boys, camping out in the middle of the woods in northern Michigan (the nearest town is 12 miles away). No electricity or indoor plumbing (bathing is done in the creek). And the weatherman says that it will be in the 90's -- wow! But this too, is a wonderful opportunity to fellowship with old friends. More importantly, it's a great time for father & son bonding.

Still Crazy After All These Years

I enjoyed this bit of commentary by Richard John Neuhaus in the Aug/Sept issue of First Things.

Former President Jimmy Carter has written another book on American values. He is deeply saddened by the way the “religious right” uses religion for partisan political purposes. In an interview with an Atlanta magazine, he explains his concern: “Carter fittingly used a parable to illustrate how he’d like to see the political/religious debate unfold. ‘I was teaching a Sunday school class two weeks ago,’ he recalls. ‘A girl, she was about 16 years old from Panama City [Fla.], asked me about the differences between Democrats and Republicans. ‘I asked her, “Are you for peace, or do you want more war?” Then I asked her, “Do you favor government helping the rich, or should it seek to help the poorest members of society. Do you want to preserve the environment, or do you want to destroy it? Do you believe this nation should engage in torture, or should we condemn it? Do you think each child today should start life responsible for $28,000 in [federal government] debt, or do you think we should be fiscally responsible?” ‘I told her that if she answered all of those questions, that she believed in peace, aiding the poor and weak, saving the environment, opposing torture,…then I told her, ‘You should be a Democrat.’”

Jimmy Carter is deeply saddened by the way religion is used for partisan political purposes.

Hillsboro Family Camp

Probably won't be blogging for awhile. We're leaving Monday for Hillsboro, Ohio. I will be preaching at Family Camp on Thursday night. I have a lot of fond memories of Family Camp. We've only missed a few times over the past 19 years. When I was a newbie preacher, Hillsboro had a huge impact on me. And I have made many friends there over the years.

Vacation Bible School

VBS started last night. I love VBS. So many people come together to love kids and share Jesus. I'm amazed at the number of people from our church who get so excited about this. It takes a lot of folks to really pull it off well (including many who work behind the scenes). How can a kid not love VBS? The snacks and drinks have come long way since I was a kid. We used to have that nasty "Church of Christ Kool-Aid" -- you know the stuff that never had quite enough sugar in it. The only thing worse was the "Church of Christ coffee" -- the stuff that sat in the urn and cooked for hours. Yuck!

Memorable moments of the night: I spent 20 minutes looking for a kid who disappeared. Six or seven other guys and I fanned out around the property -- this is a big building -- lots of places to hide. The kid has an attitude, he doesn't want to be here. We finally found the little rascal hiding out on the Day Care playground. I was starting to think about how I was going to have to call his Mom: "Um, Ma'am did you want to pick up the same number of kids that you dropped off?"

Have a Fun Weekend Everybody!

Rock 'N' Roll Ain't Noise Pollution

Bon Scott, the famously dead lead singer of AC/DC - would have turned sixty this past weekend. Sixty! Wow. Bon died from being so drunk that he inhaled his own vomit and drowned (what a way to go, eh?). Then AC/DC got a new lead singer and produced one of the best-selling rock albums of all time.

C'mon, you children of the 80's -- you know you loved it.

In God We Trust

My friend Frank Weller gave me a heads-up on the new License Plates being offered by the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles. Kinda cool. But as Frank says, "Of course, if you purchase these tags, you won't be able to speed, gesture profanely or honk your horn at the curb-hugger ahead of you without looking like a total hypocrite."

That reminds me of seeing a crumpled heap of twisted metal (that used to be a car) on the side of the highway, with the still-legible bumper sticker: God is My Co-Pilot. "Uh, dude, maybe you should have let him be the Pilot."

Maybe the Cubs Will Sign This Guy

83 Year-Old Man Makes Minor League Plate Appearance

Last night, 83-year-old Jim Eriotes led off the game for the Sioux Falls Canaries against the St. Joe (Mo.) Blacksnakes. He took four big swings -- even fouling a pitch off -- before striking out.
The at-bat made Eriotes the oldest man to ever play professional baseball. It was his only at-bat in the game. Sure he struck out, but a lot of the Cubs are doing that anyway.

Aarrgh! The National League Blew It Again

Being a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan means that I choose to root for the National League in the All-Star Game. And that means that over the past couple of decades I have come away from the mid-summer classic disappointed (they have won just four times since 1985). Last night, it looked like the NL was finally going to turn the tide, but they didn't. The NL has won 22 times in my 40 years of life. But lately it has been tough going.

Please Pass the Parsley

Last night I was flipping through the five television stations that we receive and I stumbled upon Rod Parsley. He was preaching and sweating and shouting and dancing and acting like a total nutburger -- and the crowd was eating it up!

I remember when Rod's star first started to rise. He was a young preacher who was frequently featured on Lester Sumrall's programs. I think we are about the same age, so I enjoyed watching this new young preacher (even though he wouldn't recognize the gospel if it bit him on the butt). At first, he was relatively tame, but as his church and fame grew, he became wackier and nuttier.

A quick Google search will reveal that he has at least as many detractors as fans: check here and here for examples.

Sometimes I wonder about my nonChristian friends and family members. If they catch a bit of Rod's act, do they think that's what happens at Cedar Creek? Do they think that most Christians are like the mind-numbed puppets at World Harvest Church. I sure hope not.

It just occurred to me that Rod Parsley is like the Anti Joel Osteen. Joel never talks about sin and judgment and the wrath of God, while those topics are Rod's bread & butter. If there is ever a Christian Celebrity Wrestling Smackdown betweeen those two, my money would be on the Ohio Bible College dropout. I think he would snap Botox Boy like a twig.

Snapple and Vernors

My two favorite drinks are Raspberry Snapple Iced Tea and Vernors Ginger Ale. Being a Michigander, I've been drinking Vernors since I was a kid (my southern friends have never even heard of the stuff). When I was in college, a classmate worked at the bottling plant and he would often bring cases of it back to the dorm (thanks Nate!). Yummy!

Several years ago, I decided to give Snapple a try. Rush Limbaugh recommended it, so it had to be good, right? I've tried several flavors, but Raspberry is my all-time fave.

So on a hot summer day, raise a glass of the good stuff! And remember that ol' Uncle Soren wouldn't steer ya wrong.

July 4 in Leo, Indiana

Yesterday was a great day. We had fun celebrating our Nation's Independence with a bunch of friends and church folks. Cedar Creek had a very visible presence at the local fireworks party. Our Praise Band played for a while at the park. Our youth distributed pop and water. Some of our folks helped with the kiddie games. And we gave away Cedar Creek pens and other trinkets. Several of us were wearing red "Celebrate Christ at the Creek" t-shirts. When my father-in-law arrived, he said that it looked like a sea of red. And a good time was had by all.

NACC Update

I got home from the North American Christian Convention on Friday night. The week was great. I saw so many people whom I haven't seen in years. The preaching and workshops were excellent. And I had a blast with my friend David Willis. He is a true kindred spirit.

One of the highlights was meeting my friend John Dobbs. We have known each other (through cyberspace) for years, but we had never met face-to-face. John blogged about our meeting (and the NACC in general) here. Below is a picture of the two of us:

North American Christian Convention

Tomorrow I will be heading to Louisville, KY (home of the Christian Church "mother ship") to attend the North American Christian Convention. I'm looking forward to it, especially with the emphasis this year on seeking unity with the acapella brethren (this marks the 100th anniversary of "the split"). Will report when I return.

Tracy and I Enjoyed This One

Nothing will ever replace the Far Side, but Brevity comes close.

What's In a Name?

Several months ago my friend David Willis was ranting about stupid church names and how, in a desire to sound cool and relevant, they are embarrassing themselves. And that they are all using the same names (Adventure, Crosspoint, New Community, etc.). Ugh. You can always tell the non-conformists – they all look alike.

I just read in the Christian Standard that a church here in Indiana has changed her name from ____________ Christian Church to Connection Pointe Christian Church of ___________. Hoo Boy, I'm sure that the lost are going to come stampeding into that place now, especially since they added the letter "e" to "Point" (how very postmodern).

Another church (a new church plant) is calling itself Common Ground Christian Community. Yippee!

I’m not one who believes that there is only one correct name for a community of believers (I can hear the voice of a local preacher brother shouting, “Church of Christ – that’s right!”), but I do get a little honked off when new churches call themselves something other than Church of Christ or Christian Church for the express purpose of distancing themselves from “us.” I have actually had church planters tell me this. It’s funny that they don’t want anything to do with us until it comes time to get someone to fund their new venture.

But for dumb names, it's still hard to beat the New Paradigm Christian Church.

I Believe

Every once in a while I take a break from listening to SportsRadio and Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and I go on a country music kick.Last week while I was driving to one of my favorite running paths, I heard the song Believe by Brooks & Dunn. Wow! I thought I was listening to someone singing in a church. The song tells the story of the faith of Old Man Wrigley. The words are powerful, especially the chorus:

I raise my hands, bow my head.
I'm findin' more and more truth
In the words written in red.
They tell me that there's more to life
Than just what I can see.

I can't quote the book,
The chapter or the verse.
You can't tell me it all ends,
In a slow ride in a hearse.
You know I'm more and more convinced,
The longer that I live...
Yeah, this can't be... no, this can't be...
No, this can't be all there is...

When I raise my hands, bow my head
Oh, I'm findin' more and more truth
In the words written in red.
They tell me that there's more to this
Than just what I can see.
I believe...... Ohh, I
I believe...
I believe. (I believe)
I believe...........

Newport News -- Wow!

Tooled aound Newport News, VA yesterday. Man has this place changed in just three short years. The new City Center at Oyster Point is awesome. Got some good ice cream at Maggie Moos. Then we drove across Jefferson Avenune to Port Warwick. Very nice. But we have spent the bulk of our vacation just hanging out with friends.

Vacation in the Old Dominion

We're vactioning in Hampton, Virginia (where we lived and ministered for 12 years). No real agenda or big plans other than visiting with old friends and some family. We will be worshipping at our old church. Meeting my old buddy David Willis for lunch at one of our old haunts, the Rocky Mount Bar-B-Que House.

Mr. T and Jesus

Last night I was channel surfing (which doesn't take long since after our household "cable-ectomy", we only have five channels) and I stumbled upon the religious station. I heard a familiar voice. Sure enough it was Mr. T (yeah, the "I pity the fool" guy). He was really fired up. He was ranting/preaching/talking on Clifton Davis' (from the old sitcom "Amen") show. He went off on a tangent about the DaVinci Code and how Christians have made Dan Brown a multi-millionaire. And he sounded like a total moron. "DaVinci didn't die for you (fool)! What's Mona Lisa got to do with anything?" It was a hoot!

Davis looked really uncomfortable when Mr. T started going off (which is really saying something because he has nutburgers on his show all the time). I was just waiting for Mr. T to say, "I pity the fool who won't give his life to Jesus."After a while, Mrs. Soren came in and said, "WHAT are you watching?" Now that's some quality entertainment!

I Am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N

Brian Jones posted an article on the Christian Church Today website (I’m guessing that it might appear in the Christian Standard at some point).

I appreciate his emphasis on what it really means to be a “disciple” of Jesus, but I think he overstates his case about the term “Christian.” What really honked me off was this sentence: “But it was a nickname non-believers gave us, and for some reason it unfortunately stuck.” Huh? If the Acts 11:26 passage (‘they were first called Christians at Antioch") was all that we had, his statement about it being a nickname of questionable origin might have a little validity (although it would still be speculative). But what about 1 Peter 4:16? “If you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.” Praise God that we bear an unfortunate nickname that was given to us by unbelievers? I don’t think so.

What is with these guys who are writing for our brotherhood publications these days? They seem to have forgotten that some of us have actually studied the Bible and we can recognize a liberal load of touchy-feely, pragmatic crap when we see it.

Can I Get an "Amen"?

I'm preaching a series on the 10 Commandments. Yesterday was, "Do not commit adultery." But I turned it around and took a more positive approach, "Keep Sex Sacred." It was definitely a PG-13 (at least) message. Very blunt (but tasteful). Anyway, I got more positive comments about it than I have received from any sermon I've preached here. But here's the kicker: Most of them came from elderly women! Go figure.

A few memorable lines:

• "In the Garden, Adam and Eve had sex. Lots of it!"
• "Sex was God's idea. Yep, He thought it up! He created some of the parts of our anatomy for only one purpose -- pleasure!"
• (when talking about how men should starve their eyes) -- "But ladies, when it's time to look, let him look! You might say, 'Well, I don't like my body', but that's not what matters, what matters is the fact that he likes it. And trust me, he does."
• "I believe that, biblically speaking, the key to a healthy and vibrant marriage is frequent and passionate sex."

After church Luke said, "Dad, you said the word 'sex' WAY TOO MUCH today."

At least the teens paid attention for once!

I Wish I Had Said That

Patrick Mead is the Preaching Minister at the Rochester (MI) Church of Christ. I enjoy reading his blog (his other blog can be found here). Recently he posted about some disgruntled church members and the legacy we all we leave:

Leave a Hole

Warning: I can be a very blunt individual. It may indicate a lack of kindness, but I hope that isn't the case. I prefer to think of it as one individual defined diplomacy: "warfare by other means." This column about children, church, and Christians might seem harsh... but I'm writing it anyway!

A couple was furious with our church. We had gone to see what happened to them after someone noticed they'd been gone from our worship assembly for some time. "We aren't coming back," the husband said. "That is an unloving, cold church that claims to care about people but doesn't." I asked him on what basis he made that judgment and he replied, "We were gone four weeks from that church before anyone there even noticed. What kind of church doesn't even notice something like that?"

I replied, "What kind of person are you, that you could be gone for four weeks and the no one in the church could tell?" They were shocked by this 'attack' so I pressed on. "What work suffered because you stopped your ministry? What mission work ground to a halt because you withdrew your funding, prayers and support? Could it be -- just imagine with me a moment -- could it be that you never really were a part of the church? Could that be why your departure was unnoticed?"

I tell people -- and mean it -- that the Rochester Church is the warmest, friendliest, and most talented congregation I have ever worked with... but we don't make it easy to be a member here. All who come to be a part of us are called into the ministry and work of this body. They are expected to give and live as disciples, to be deeply involved in our work, and to be available to any other member who needs prayer or backup.

Kami and I built this into our children at an early age. As I have written before, we would often end the day with two questions: "Where did you see Jesus today?" and "What did you do for Jesus today?"

Let me rephrase this: make your life necessary. When you die, as we all will, you can either fill a hole or leave it. Your choice. I have no interest in filling a hole. I have a great interest in leaving one. Make you life something that gives, serves, and leads in such a way that when you are gone, it matters!!! I ask my staff and my children -- but mostly I ask myself -- "what difference did it make that you lived today? In what way did you do something that would have remained undone without you? Did your life matter today?"

Did you pray for someone fervently? Did you sacrifice some money or pleasure for another's benefit? Did you offer kindness and courtesy to someone everybody else ignored? Did you look for those who have been robbed and beaten by life and offer to them everything you had to help them as did the Samaritan?

People ask me how we raised our daughter to be such a sweet, dedicated, serving Christian and how we raised our son to be a noble, honorable, courageous man who is headed towards the officer's ranks in the Marine Corps. We challenged them to make each day an opportunity to make their life count. My son has written extensively on why he is going to serve in the uniform of the Corps. I will not quote that extensively here, but the gist of it is that everyone lives, but not everyone matters. Everyone dies, but most never lived for something bigger than themselves first.

And everybody fills a hole at death, but not everybody leaves one.

Tragedy Upon Tragedy

I can't stop thinking about the parents of a college student who was killed last month. A semi-truck driver fell asleep and crashed into a vanload of Taylor University (a local Christian College) students. Five people were killed. The coroner screwed up and sent one of the survivors to the wrong family, while another grief stricken family buried a girl whom they thought was their daughter. It's hard to explain -- you can read about it here.

So the one family is experiencing incredible joy, realizing that their daughter is, in fact, alive. While the other one is devastated, realizing that the one at whose bedside the have been standing is not even their daughter.

Happy Anniversary!

One year ago today I made my first post on this blog. Man, time really flies. Thanks to my faithful readers (all three of you).

Basebrawl Season

Fox Sports had a Top Ten List of Baseball's Best Brawls. I remember several of these, but I think there could have been many more listed. What about the brawls between the Yankees and Royals in the late 70's? Or the time the Cubs and Reds mixed it up for 30 minutes (mid 80's I think). What are some good ones that you remember?

All Gave Some, Some Gave All

We remember! Freedom is never free!

Soul Patrol!

Taylor Hicks is the new American Idol. Way to go! Although you can make a good case for Chris or Elliott being as good or better than Taylor, you have to be happy for the guy. During auditions, Simon didn't even want to let him advance, saying, "He would never make it."
Katherine has a good future ahead of her too. McPheever will burn hot for a long time.

Brought to You By the Letter W

The other day, Mrs. Soren and I were having a fascinating discussion about the alphabet (yes, we have no life). She made the observation that all of the letters have one syllable, except for the letter W, which has three syllables. Then she wondered aloud how each letter would be spelled. Ever the wisenheimer, I said, “A, B, C, D, etc.” Eventually we got to the letter W. And I learned that we pronounce it differently. That is, I pronounce it correctly. She says “double-you” and I say “dubba-you” (sing the song and you will probably agree with me). So I called my sister in Texas to settle the argument (I don’t know why I chose her). She said, “Dubba-you. Duh!” But we did go to the same school, after all. Never one to admit defeat so readily, Mrs. Soren called her Aunt (a teacher with a Master’s Degree from Central Michigan University). She said, “Double-you. Duh!” Then she looked it up online. Refdesk.com proved her point. But I still think I’m right.

Has It Been 30 Years?

My friend Mark Christian sent me this link. It has been 30 years since Rick Monday prevented a couple of long-haired, dope-smoking, commie schmucks from burning the American Flag in center field at Dodger Stadium. Y'all remember that, don't you?

Have a Great Weekend Everybody!

This made me smile.

Jung People...Question

One of my professors used to query us, and often began with the phrase, “Young people,…question.”

Reggie McNeal, in his book Practicing Greatness, suggests that church leaders need to be asking better questions these days:

Wrong question: How do we “do church” better?
Right question: How do we “be church” better? Or how do we deconvert from churchianity” (institutional religion) to Christianity (the movement)?

Wrong question: How do we grow this church?
Right question: How do we serve this community?

Wrong question: How do we develop ministers for the church?
Right question: How do we develop missionaries to the culture?

Wrong question: How do we develop church members?
Right question: How do we develop followers of Jesus?

Wrong question: How do we plan for the future we see?
Right question: How do we prepare for the future God sees?

Wrong question: How do we develop leaders for church work?
Right question: How do we develop leaders for the Christian movement?

I think he's on to something.

A Glutton for Punishment

You'd think that after 30 years of being a Cubs fan, I would learn my lesson. But hope springs eternal, and each Spring I think, "Maybe this is the year." Like Charlie Brown hoping that, "This time Lucy won't pull the ball away at the last second", I buy into the idea that they can be winners. Last month when they were 6 or 7 games over .500, I got my hopes up, but I kept reminding myself that it's only April. Now they have dropped 14 out of their last sixteen. "Will the lady who left her nine children at the concession stand please report to the general office. They are beating the Cubs 7-2."

Rodney King, Where Art Thou?

Remember when Rodney King said, "Can't we just get along?"? That seems to be the hermeneutic de jour in the brotherhood these days. Mark Taylor's editorial in this week's Christian Standard is so weak, I can't believe that it ever went to press. You can read my letter to the editor here.

Say It Ain't So!

I heard this news story this morning. MLB players are going to use pink bats on Sunday to raise awareness of breast cancer. Now, I'm sure that this is a good cause, but PINK BATS? Ugh!
I can't imagine Joe Dimaggio, Mickey Mantle, Pete Rose, George Brett, Rod Carew, Ryne Sandberg, Ted Williams, Thurman Munson, or Stan the Man EVER using a pink bat.

What planet are we on?

714

714. Dan Patrick says it's the most recognizable number in all of sports. 714. It's the number of home runs that Babe Ruth hit. Nobody remembers the exact number of games Cal Ripken played (a lot!). And who remembers the number of hits that Pete Rose had? Or how many wins Nolan Ryan recorded. But 714 homers for the bambino. We all remember that (even though Hank Aaron eclipsed it over three decades ago). And now Barry Bonds is soon to pass the Babe as well. But does it count? Should Bonds receive the accolades even though his dingers were produced, in part, because of steroids? A fan in Philly waved a great banner last week: Babe Ruth did it on Hot Dogs and Beer.

Fort Wayne sportswriter Ben Smith says that Bud Selig is making the right call by not recognizing Bonds' "achievement" when it happens. I think he's right. Maybe nobody will fuss too much about Bonds passing the Babe, but if/when he starts to get close to Hank, it's gonna get ugly.

The Lord's Name in Vain

I'm preaching this week on the third commandment ("Don't take the Lord's name in vain"). My research on it has been very interesting. Most of us who have been brought up in the church were taught that the command referred to using God's name as a curse word, but the command extends far beyond that.

Rick Atchley suggests that we can misuse God's name in a number of ways:

• as a curse
• as an exclamation point
• as a weapon
• as a cliche
• as an endorsement

A couple of good articles can be found here and here.

Another blogger (an agnostic, but I thought his points were good) wrote this: Mortals cannot call upon God to cast a spell or to place a curse on any individual / object / situation / etc., such as is believed to be desirable or possible in some non-Christian traditions. To call upon God to curse or damn a person or situation on one's own behalf is therefore a futile and vain (for or about one's self ) action and to do so is equivalent to an attempt at usurping God's power. Given that the Judeo-Christian God referenced in the commandments is considered to be more powerful than the gods of other faiths ("put no other gods before me" is clearly a recognition of other gods), many of whom (according to those doctrines) can be manipulated for one's own purposes, it is considered an insult to the Biblical God to attempt it.

My Mom was kind of the "Third Commandment Cop" at our house. Sometimes my sisters would have a friend over who might say, the offending phrase ("oh my God"), and my mom would correct them. One time, after hearing a girl say it, Mom said, "we don't talk like that in this house." When her mother came to pick her up, she told her mom what had happened. The woman rebuked her daughter, exclaiming, "Blankety blank it, I've not you not to talk that blankety blank way." Unbelievable!

WWJD?

I have many pet peeves (I can go all "Andy Rooney" when the mood strikes). But I recently discovered a new pet peeve. It's when people played the WWJD card. You remember the "What Would Jesus Do?" craze from a few years ago. I suppose this is a good question to ask sometimes. But should we always use Jesus as the model for what to do or not to do? One time I heard a preacher railing against the evils of smoking. He final argument? "Bless your heart, Jesus didn't smoke!" While I generally think that smoking is a bad idea, when one starts citing Jesus' participation (or non-participation) in a given activity, it's usually a sign that he has run out of good arguments. Now my friend David Willis and I will quote the "bless your heart, Jesus didn't smoke" line whenever we hear someone heading down this illogical path. Bless your heart, Jesus didn't eat ice cream, watch television, or use indoor plumbing. Does that mean I shouldn't?

Alma Mater

Yesterday I attended a meeting at Great Lakes Christian College. I must be getting old, because college students look so young to me. Anyway, it was a gorgeous day, and the campus was beautiful. It's always enjoyable to see some old friends.

What I'm Reading

Last night I started reading Mark Driscoll's book Confessions of a Reformission Rev. It's the story of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. (By the way, how many more churches are going to be called Mars Hill? -- You can always spot a non-conformist, they all look alike).

He did admit that the name is stupid (kinda): In retrospect, the name of our church is kind of dumb and sounds more like a cult than a church, which, sad to say, actually benefits us in a city where words like Jesus and Christian are far more offensive than four-letter cusswords.

A couple of other gems:

What my college students needed was to mentor high school students and hang out with singles who had phased from college into the work world and married couples who had learned what kind of person to be and to marry to make a family work. What they did not need was to hang out with the same immature yahoos they spent all of their time playing "pull my finger" with anyway and going to a free event that was like day care for twenty-one-year-old hormonally enraged porn addicts and video game aficionados trying to stretch junior high into the retirement years.

Our rotating cast of worship leader tryouts ranged from screaming punk rockers -- to this day I have no idea why they were so dramatically depressed -- to the kind of happy-clappy Christian praise musicians that youwould expect to find playing on a karaoke machine at a Christian home school co-op reunion for kids whose moms made their clothes.

More Church Signs

So I'm driving around yesterday and I read the following real messages on church signs:

Aspire to Inspire Before You Expire

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4given

For All You Do...His Blood's For You

What are these people thinking? And they wonder why the world thinks that Christians are a bunch of whacked-out nutburgers.

The Pope, The President, and The Media

The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C., and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac, sailing on the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia. They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water.

Secret Service guys start to launch a boat, but President Bush waves them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry."

Bush then steps off the yacht onto the surface of the water and walks out to the little hat, bends over picks it up, then walks back to the yacht and climbs aboard. He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning, the headlines in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Atlanta Constitution, Washington Post, Boston Herald, Buffalo News, Houston Chronicle, Milwaukee Sentinel-Journal, Minneapolis Tribune, Denver Post, Albuquerque Journal, Los Angeles Times and San Francisco Chronicle all proclaim:

"Bush Can't Swim"

Jack Bauer for Press Secretary

At 9:00pm, Mrs. Soren and I will be getting our weekly 24 fix. I stumbled across a funny blog about Jack Bauer replacing Press Secretary Scott McClellan. (Disclaimer: If you do not watch 24, this will not make much sense).

What better way to reign in the White House Press Corps than to install Jack Bauer as Press Secretary? Imagine Jack Bauer trying to sit still while Helen Thomas goes on one of her diatribes.Jack Bauer would put these prima donnas in their place...and do so in a timely manner (usually within 24 hours). If hooking Helen Thomas' jowls up to a car battery or making David Gregory swallow a towel would not get the White House Press Corps in line, nothing will.

Top 10 Changes Jack Bauer Would Bring to the White House Press Corps
10. Positive stories about Bush increase 145% in his first hour alone.
9. Five moles weeded out of press corps by Bauer.
8. Ask a stupid question; get hooked up to the sensory deprivation device.
7. Podium replaced with bullet-proof barrier with gun ports.
6. All press conferences last an hour, with all tough questions coming at 45 minutes past the hour.
5. By the end of a press conference, a minimum of 34 people would have been killed.
4. "No comment" replaced by "We don't have time for that question".
3. Gary Bauer mistakenly showed up to a press conference, once.
2. All comments will be yelled.
1. Blogs4Bauer starts to live-blogs press conferences.

Keith Hernandez

I've never been a big Keith Hernandez fan (I hate the Mets), but an incident that occurred this weekend (and the backlash in the press because of it) is just another example of political correctness run amok. The following story has been on multiple websites and ESPN Radio.


Keith Hernandez apologized Sunday for inappropriate comments he made Saturday night about San Diego's massage therapist Kelly Calabrese.

After Mike Piazza's second-inning home run Saturday, SportsNet New York's camera focused on Calabrese, who was in the dugout wearing a Padres camouflage uniform. "Who is the girl in the [Padres] dugout?" Hernandez asked Gary Cohen, his play-by-play partner. "... I thought she was Morganna [Cottrell, "The Kissing Bandit"] for a minute, but she was a blond."

Cohen wondered if Calabrese's presence in the dugout could have something to do with "Military Night" at Petco Park. Hernandez said Calabrese was with the training staff. Cohen said that a woman trainer in the major leagues is "progressive."

"I won't say women belong in the kitchen. But they don't belong in the dugout," Hernandez said.
Cohen warned there could be "trouble brewing" after that commentary. "I'm only teasing," Hernandez said. "I love you gals out there. I always have."

In the fifth inning, Hernandez returned to the subject of Calabrese, who again was on camera. He referred to his second-inning commentary and elaborated on it. "I stand by those statements. I think this is a man's game and I feel very strongly about it," Hernandez said. "And if anybody thinks when I made that comment about women being in the kitchen, and takes it seriously, well, get a sense of humor."

SportsNet New York officials were not laughing. Sources said Hernandez was reprimanded after the game by SNY executive producer Curt Gowdy Jr. That led to Sunday's apology during the second inning of the Mets-Padres game.


A couple of comments:

1. What do you expect when you have a former ballplayer from the 70's-80's broadcasting your games? These guys are not exactly famous for their sensitivity and appropriate behavior.

2. Why does EVERYBODY have to jump on the "tsk, tsk" bandwagon? I have a feeling that there are LOTS of ballplayers who do not wish to have women in the dugout/lockeroom.

3. Don't we still have the right to free speech in this country?

Church Signs

Church signs are interesting things. Sometimes I wonder what the church is trying to communicate. Few things can make a congregation seem more out-of-touch, corny, judgmental, or redneck than an inappropriate message on its sign. Johnny Leckie has a great post about this. I shudder when I think of the stupid messages that I have put up over the years. But then I will drive by some church in the area and read its sign and think, "At least I never posted anything that stupid or offensive or cheesy."

Leckie has a follow-up post here. The following are some of his suggestions:

The obvious:

• Update your church sign regularly.
• Keep your church sign clean.
• Keep your church sign maintained - change the bulbs when they go out on the day they go out, trim the weeds, etc.
• If your sign is faded and weathered looking (Unless that's part of the design) it's time to replace parts or it's time for a new sign.

The apparently not-so-obvious:

• Determine who your sign is for and write for them. (Hint - If it's for your church only, send them a newsletter instead.)
• Think of your sign as a 24/7 personal billboard for your church, because that is exactly what it is. It is a "front door" to the community that tells them what's "inside."
• Think through how you will be received/perceived/heard by the people driving by. Ask, "What do we want to communicate about our church? Will it attract? Will it help create interest in what's happening at your church.
• Do not use the internet to come up with clever sayings to put on your sign.
• Do not use a "church sign book" to come up with clever sayings to put on your sign.
  Come to think of it, do not use clever sayings at all...It's like the person who tries to tell a joke that's already been told a million times and wasn't really funny the first time. They are usually tired, worn out and corny. And really, do you want to be known as the "clever sayings" church, anyway?
• Do not "slam the evil doers" on your church sign. You'll just reinforce the negative, judgmental stereotype impression that most people have about churches, anyway.
• Assume that everyone who sees your church sign has never been to church before. You don't have to "dumb down" to do this, just leave out the words and phrases that only church people would understand.
• It's ok to be funny, but you'd better really be funny. Get lot's of feedback on something you think is funny before you put it on your sign. Ask people who don't go to your church. Generally, humor that smashes stereotypes about church are better than things like, "CH_ _ RCH - What's Missing? U. R."